Update: PET scan

I guess I never managed to give the update. We heard back after the doctor's meeting and they decided to do a PET scan to see where things stand. I go in about an hour for that scan, which they said should take about 2-3 hours. Hopefully this scan will let the doctors know just what they need to so they are sure about the path forward. I am not sure exactly when we will find out the results, but I will post them here when I find out. A kind sister in the ward is watching our kids (with her kids) so that Brittney can come with me this morning.

the road ahead

We saw the doctors today. The news was about what I was expecting. It looks like the cancer is completely gone, except for the node that was the biggest to begin with. The doctors had told us from the very beginning that this node was just at the limits of what they could shrink with chemotherapy alone, but they wanted to try that first. Turns out it didn't quite get it all, although it still shrunk considerably even since our January scan.

It sounds like there are two possibilities for the next step. We could do a PET scan, which will yield more information about the mass in my chest, specifically shedding light on whether or not there are still active cancer cells there or if it is just scar tissue left over from the large mass. Then if it ended up being active, we would move on to radiation.

The other possibility is to just do radiation, to be sure and get rid of everything. The downside to this is that studies show that radiation increases the likelihood of secondary cancers 20 years down the line. The caveat here though, is that all of these studies are based on people who were treated with 20 year old radiation technology and techniques. The doctor said that they basically used to just blast your whole chest with radiation. Now they are a lot more precise and can basically just get the thing they are aiming for. So it is to be expected that the chances of secondary cancer complications in the future is less than the studies show, but this is of course unknown as of now.

Our doctor feels, and we agree, that it would be much better to be sure and get rid of everything now, and deal with any potential problems 20 years down the road, rather than potentially missing this opportunity and continue to grow in the next year or something and be too big to be treated by radiation. Who knows what advances cancer treatment or prevention will see in those 20 years as well.

Our doctor is convening a meeting of all the Cancer Centre's lymphoma doctors tomorrow to review my case and reach a consensus decision, just to make sure he isn't missing anything. We will have all the doctors in our prayers so that they are led and directed in making the right one. We should hear back probably Wednesday what they decided, and most likely move on to radiation or the PET scan next week. The radiation would most likely be every weekday for 4 weeks, taking about 30 minutes a day. Of course, with travel and wait time it will probably eat up more time than that, but it will be nice having the Cancer Centre right next to the university.

So, that is the update. We will know more for sure later in the week, but for now we are taking it as good news that the chemo got rid of everything else, and we are excited to get rid of what little is left. Thanks again for your prayers, love, and support.

A moment of truth

The scan last week went ok, I guess. It was a little more exciting than normal, but ended up all right. Brittney was able to accompany me, so that was great. I had to arrive for the scan fasting, and so hadn't eaten anything for breakfast. Then they make you drink two huge glasses of water, and by the end of those I was shivering pretty bad. Then I went in for the scan itself. Everything was going fine at first, I was laying on the bed-thingy and moving in and out of the scanner. Then they said that they were injecting the contrast dye stuff into my IV. At that point the IV site starting hurting weird. I put up with it for a second or two and then looked over at my inner elbow, where the IV was. My arm had a slight bulge where the IV went in. By this time the nurses had come out to check on me. I guess my IV had come slightly out, so that when the injection happened, it went into my tissue instead of into my blood. The nurses said that not very much had gotten in though, before it got shut off. I guess they put sensor thing on your arm that detects this. So, they took out what remained of that IV and then gave me another one in the other arm. I had been trying to tough it out through the scan, but by now was shivering again. The nurses were great and wrapped me all up in warmed blankets while the second IV was started. It sadly took two tries. Finally it was in and they finished the scan. Then the IV was taken out and I left. They gave me an ice pack for the bulge in my arm and told me to massage it a bit and that it should go away. It was pretty weird, but by the end of the next day seemed pretty much back to normal. So that was exciting.

Now comes the day we have been waiting for. Tomorrow afternoon we meet with the doctor to discuss the scan results. It has been kind of odd to have this coming. The best way that I have thought of to describe it is like this: It is like being on a hike up a big mountain. You have never hiked the trail before, so you don't really know how long it will be, but it is a big mountain. The trail winds through some trees and for a while it is hard to tell how far you have come or how much further is left. At some point, several hours into the hike, you see a ridge up ahead, out in the clear. You can't see beyond this ridge, and so you have a lot of anticipation as you approach it. Is this the summit? Will you be done when you get there? Will the top of the mountain be in sight? Or will this be a false alarm, simply allowing you to see how much more of the mountain there is left to be climbed? Either way, the ridge is a major checkpoint, and getting there will answer some questions and leave affected emotions.

That is kind of how I feel. Tomorrow is a moment of truth. We get to find out something about how far we have made it and how far we have left to go. Either way, it is nice to know that I have such an amazing support group out there. We will let you all know whatever we find out tomorrow.

Scan approaching

The CT-scan which will see how well all this chemo worked is scheduled for next Tuesday. As this is an obviously big moment in our journey, we decided to especially focus our fast this Sunday on helping everything go as well as it can with the scan, and for strength and peace for us. Because of General Conference next weekend, our ward is having Fast Sunday tomorrow, so this works out nicely. We would sure appreciate the fasting and prayers of anyone else who wanted to join us.

Hall of Baldness: Anna, Coleman, Dan, Dave, Hyrum, Jacob, Jake, John, Leland, Matt, Megan, Rob, Robby, Russ, Ryan, Scott, Tiffany, Vhari

These lovely folks are some of my dearest and oldest friends. Leland, Matt, Robby, Russ, Ryan and Scott all went to the same elementary school as me. I specifically remember that Robby and Leland were in my second grade class, Ms. Griffiths' class, which was the first year that we lived in my parents' current house. I remember the other four from times throughout the rest of elementary school, but it is hard to remember specific classes and who was in which one after that. Anna, Dave, John, Megan, Rob, Tiffany and Vhari I remember best from high school, although I have vague recollections of Rob being on one of my soccer teams as a child. Dan married Megan, and Coleman is one of their sons, and Jake married Julia, another friend from high school and church. Hyrum and Jacob are Robby's two boys. Before I get into details, these people are just the best. They are the friends that I try to see when I am back in Provo. They are the friends with whom I had such fun times from high school and afterwards that I can always remember. They are all such good people and have been such examples to me in my life. They are also some of the funniest people that I know, and our get-togethers get me laughing in a way that little else can. I treasure these friendships and am so grateful that I have had friends like these by my side my whole life long. This post will necessarily be longer than usual, but hopefully it will be worth the read. Each of these people deserve an entire tome written in the praise, but as I want to get this posted and my memory is sometimes random, I will be forced to post a few things that come to my mind as I think about these dear people.

Megan, Dan and Coleman: I met Megan at some point early in high school. Her father was an English teacher at Provo High, and we had several classes together. Megan is a great people person, very smart, and also one of the funniest people I know. Her sense of humor is so brilliant and clever and just kills me. Brittney and I went to my ten-year high school reunion and we sat at a table with Megan and Dan among others and the entire night was just fabulous. Not because of the program or anything, but because of how funny everyone was. I remember one Christmas eve late in high school when Megan and Scott and I went to the mall to do some last minute shopping. We ended up sitting on a couch in the middle of the mall for what seemed like an hour, analyzing the people walking by, and how they held hands, and what that said about them and their relationships. What a fun day. I also remember that somehow I got free tickets to go to some swing dance at the high school, and ended up going with Megan. Neither of us knew at all how to swing dance, but we had so much fun faking. That night was memorable for another reason as well. On the way home some idiot leaned out of his car next to us at a light and punched in the window of the car we were in (my friends car). It was one of the most random and crazy things that has ever happened to me. Megan is a terrific writer, and I love following her goings-on over at her blog. I have met Dan several times at get togethers, but I feel like I know him somewhat from Megan's blog. He seems like a terrific guy, and a lucky one to be married to Megan. Coleman was the braver of the two twin boys, and I am happy to welcome such cuteness into the Hall of Baldness.

Megan, Coleman and Dan

Dave and John: I met Dave and John in high school as well. We had many fun times together playing basketball and Bond. Dave is also one of the funniest guys I know. He has a zany humor that just cracks me up. We were lucky to be able to drive out to his wedding reception when we lived in California and it was great to see him and meet his lovely wife. John is a gentle giant. He is one of the strongest people I know, and also one of the kindest and gentlest. I have never heard him say an unkind word about another soul. He is genuine and just good. When I heard that he was engaged I was overjoyed. I have yet to meet his wife, but I am sure she is as amazing as he is.

Dave

John

Robby, Hyrum, Jacob and Leland: My friendship with Robby and Leland goes back to my very beginning on Grandview hill. I remember playing with them from second grade on. Going over to their houses after school. Playing computer games like Mist and SimCity. They were my friends that I would walk home from school with each day. They are both great people. I haven't seen Robby for a while, but a few months ago we chatted on skype for a while and caught up. I was so touched by his sons' decision to join him in showing support by shaving their heads. I think Hyrum and Jacob have a great example to look up to as they grow older. Leland is one of my favorite people in the world. He is soft-spoken, humble and kind. He is one of the best basketball players of the lot of us, and always was able to pull off some amazing circus shot to get the ball in the hoop. I haven't been able to see him in person for a few years now, but was overjoyed to hear of his recent wedding. I can't wait to meet his wife. She is a lucky girl.

Robby, Hyrum and Jacob

Leland

Anna, Jake, Matt, Ryan, Rob and Tiffany: I met Anna in classes during high school. She is a great soccer player and good friend. The first date I ever went on was to the Halloween dance with Anna. Our group all dressed up as Waldo (from Where's Waldo). It was pretty awesome. Jake married Julia, who was in my ward during high school and also friends with all of us. I look forward to someday meeting him. I remember Matt from elementary school and also from high school soccer. I remember his dedication during practice and the effort he put into becoming a good goalie. He was pretty successful and we had some good times during high school soccer. Ryan is another gentle giant. I remember him most specifically from Calculus classes in high school. Our second year class was rather small (7-10 people) and so we had a lot of chances to interact and associate. He was funny and smart, and I still remember the things we learned, and our hero Guillaume de l'Hopital. Rob I remember from youth soccer and high school. Tiffany I also met in high school. She married another of our friends who I also knew from youth soccer. That makes keeping up with friends a lot easier, when they are married to each other.

Anna

Jake

Matt

Ryan

Rob

Tiffany

This theme continues as we move on to:

Russ and Vhari: I didn't meet Vhari until high school, where I had various classes with her. But Russ and I go way back. We played soccer together as long as I can remember, all the way through senior year varsity, and even some intramurals at BYU. I remember our freshman year they didn't have a freshman/sophomore team and we didn't make the junior varsity team. Together with another friend we worked our tails off over the next year to make sure that didn't happen again. And the next year we achieved our goal. I also had great fun studying for AP US History over at Russ' house. We like to combine studying of history with ping pong, Excitebike, and Rage Against the Machine. We really appreciated the perspective on US history that many of their songs gave, and of course they were just awesome to me, since I hadn't really heard much of them before. Russ and Vhari ended up getting married. Just this last summer they were in San Jose for Russ' internship and we were able to have them over for dinner. What fun that was, to meet their two darling daughters and reminisce. They are just wonderful people.

Russ

Vhari

Scott: Even among all the wonderful friends I have listed here, Scott's friendship stands out in my memory. I knew Scott from elementary school, but we really became good friends while studying for Calculus and other classes in high school. Scott's friendship came at I time where I didn't often feel that I had many friends. We began by watching the Simpsons and hockey, or playing pool or Cruisin' USA while listening to Led Zeppelin and Tom Petty. Scott's sense of humor seemed to mesh well with mine, and for some reason we just got each other. We eventually convinced my parents to get a pool table and then spent many hours playing pool and ping pong over at my house. My friendship with him was at the core of all my other friendships throughout the rest of high school and it was really through him that I started doing things with any other friends. Scott is brilliant and hard-working. He is a talented architect. He has a sarcastic and pointed sense of humor that I really appreciate and which I think is fantastic. I will always think of Scott's friendship and support with immense gratitude.

Scott

So, why were all these wonderful people covered in one post, you might ask? And what did you ever do to deserve such fantastic friends? Well, the answer to the second question is still a mystery, but the first can be explained. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, Scott organized a head-shaving get-together at his Mom's house while he was in Utah. This was amazingly well-attended, and many people shaved their heads together. The others who couldn't make it joined in via Skype or sent pictures in later. A few days later I was chatting with Scott online and he told me of what had happened, and sent me a few of the pictures. I was literally sobbing to myself, overwhelmed by the amazing show of love and support by these people who are so dear to me. Scott, Leland and Leland's wife Lacie stopped by my parents' house and surprised my Mom, who didn't recognize them with their shaved heads. She, like me, wept as she heard what they had done. Over the next few days as a few more of the photos trickled in from those who couldn't be there in person, I was again overwhelmed and humbled by many the angels that my Father in Heaven has placed in my life. I will forever be grateful for all of these people. Anna, Coleman, Dan, Dave, Hyrum, Jacob, Jake, John, Leland, Matt, Megan, Rob, Robby, Russ, Ryan, Scott, Tiffany and Vhari, welcome to the Hall of Baldness!

12.3-12.?: Slow and steady

It was nice to not have chemo last week. But, frankly, not as nice as we were thinking. I am not sure if it has been that lack of Neupogen, but I have been slower to recover, stomach-wise. For the last week or so, I will feel pretty good throughout the day, but then in the evening I start getting stomach cramps and feeling not good. So that hasn't been fun. Also, I got a cold over the weekend and stayed home from church. Kind of funny that I am able to go through church every Sunday during chemo, but then I am sick and miss it the first Sunday that I have missed chemo. This also reminded me how blessed we were to have me not be sick during the 6 months of chemo. That was a huge blessing.

The last few days have seen a slow improvement in the evening stomach situation. I am trying to be more cautious about what I eat, which is hard as good food is very attractive to me right now. Hopefully in the next few days I will be all the way back to "normal", whatever that means now.

I have been enjoying being able to go to work every day and feel more on top of things there. I also feel better and am able to play more with the kids and Brittney, which is really rewarding. All in all, I prefer not chemo to chemo, but not by as wide of a margin as I had anticipated.

12.0-12.2

Well, it is done. My twelfth chemo treatment has come and gone. It went fine at the Cancer Centre on Tuesday morning. The nurse got the IV in on the first try, which was amazing. Then I tried to pass out for the 4.5 hours of the ordeal. I was so grateful that Brittney's Mom was in town so that Brittney could be there with me. I sure loved having her there with me. Since we got home I have been taking it easy. I haven't eaten very much yet, and feel pretty weak, but tomorrow should be better in that regard. I am so excited for the break that is upon us from chemo etc. I can't wait until I am feeling well enough to really celebrate. I will let you all know when I get there.